The Information Technology Pantheon:

Narada      : Data Transfer
Brihaspati  : Chief Information Officer
Chitragupta : Personnel Records
Yama        : Reorganization Consultant
Brahma      : Systems installation
Vishnu      : Tech support
Shiva       :  Power surge
Ram         : Hardware Support
Apsaras     : Downloadable Virus
Devas       : Programmers
Surya       : UNIX System Admin
Lakshmi     : Mgr - Trading Systems
Krishna     : Chief Technology Consultant
Rakshasas   : In House Hackers


A foreign tourist goes to rajasthan village to see the 'true' rural
India. When hungry, he goes to an old lady sitting making Bajre ki
Roti. She gives him some 'SarsoN kaa saag' on a Bajre ki Roti. The
tourist eats the 'sabji' and returns the roti saying, 'Here is your
plate.'


CALCUTTA's Telegraph has got hold of an answer paper of a candidate at the
recent UPSC examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian
cow:


"The cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadrupud, and because he is 
female, he give milk,but will do so when he is got child. He is same like
God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together.
Two are forward and two are afterwards.

"His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. What can it do?
Various ghee, butter,cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth.
Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.

"His motion is slow only because he is of asitudinious species.  Also his
other motion is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat cakes 
in hand and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his 
feeding after eating.  Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are 
situated in the inside of the mouth.  He is incessantly in the meadows in 
the grass.

"His only attacking and defending organ is the horn, specially so when he is 
got child.  This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons
to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great 
velocity forwards.

"He has got tails also, but not like similar animals.  It has hairs on the
other end of the other side.  This is done to frighten away the flies which
alight on his cohoa body whereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch.  So the grasses head is not
crushed.  At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he 
shouts his eyes like his relatives, the horse does not do so.

"This is the cow."

P.S.: We are informed that the candidate passed the exam.


Teacher & Student
Teacher:Arun tell your father's name in English.
Arun:Madam, my father's name is Mr. Butter Red Government.
Teacher: Stupid are you making fun with me?
Arun: No, Madam You told me to tell my father's name in English and my father's 
name in Hindi is Makkhan Lal Sarkar.


Ladies First
Teacher : Correct the sentence, 'A bull and a cow is grazing in the field'
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How ?
Student : Ladies first.


Always say, I Am
Teacher: Vivek, give me a sentence starting with 'I'.
Student: I is...
Teacher: No, Vivek. Always say, 'I am...'
Student: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'


First Day
Mother: How was your first day at school? 
Boy: OK, but I haven't got my present yet. 
Mother: What do you mean? 
Boy: Well, the teacher gave me a chair, and said, 'Sit there for the present.'


Swimming Law
'Now don't forget, boys,' the science teacher droned on. 
'If it wasn't for water we would never learn to swim. And if we'd never learned to swim, 
just think how many people would have drowned!'


Student on Watch
'I hope you're not one of those boys who sits and watches the school clock,' said the 
principal to a new boy. 
Student: 'No, Sir. I've got a digital watch that bleeps at half past three.'

back